what goes around ..comes around

round 2... Im poud how i seem to handle my person life. I hate not knowing what will be around the corner. It scares me. But, i see that how i treat people will come back and bite me in my ass. I think its funny no matter how many time i tell myslef that im happy..im not. I mean i got a good job, kick ass place to give but no one to share the amazing things in my life.
Like i said .waiting. sounds easy but fuck. Its not. I have been wait a year. Then wham. started liking soem one . The kaboom! the shit hits the wall. This is what i get for questioning things in my life. I don't blame the other person. we all have things in our life that makes us have to stop and think about the people in our life. i, personal dont want to get fucked over again. I dont want to fall in love with this person then get walked out on. My gut says walk away, hell run nikole, run! but my heart is say to sit back and chill.

hello thursday

I feel my week goes by so fast. I'm already about to have my Monday. This is why i hate having the middle of the week off. But the plus side is that I helps with school things. I had a kick in the ass the other day. I looked at myself and said i need a change. I have had people say that I'm a confident person. well, I'm not. I keep telling myself that I need to work on it but as of today I am. i do find my self pretty and sexy but i need to feel it. Its a change but a well needed one. Thank you all who have told me how wonderful and pretty I am. I plan to make major life changes for good.This is one that my top one!

26...

I want to make this clear. I love to blog. I feel i cant vent and be able to say what i want. For my friends and love ones. Yes, i do use stories that may in clude you. Dont' worry i do not use names. Im not hear to hurt anyone or make anyone mad at me.

26.wow..I can't believe im that age. I getting closer to 30. Ouch..haha. Im willing to see that Im now just starting my life over. I have a great job, a new car, and im moving out. I think its funny that not long ago, i wanted a huge goal to be done by this age. Well, things didn't go to plan. I wanted to have things in my life done and starting a life with someone. A year has gone by and still..no one.Yet, people are getting married likes it's the new cool thing to do. I mean crap, my own grandmother has a boyfriend. haha. not that im trying.. i have had my ups and downs with some guys. Hell, some i consider friends. The others well.. i rather not say( A** Holes) My main thing is why does dating have to be on big game? Really.. i mean i think im a catch big time. The trick is to prove that guy across from you that you are. I (yes it's true) have read many realtionship books. I have this stupid voice that tells me that its all me, thats why your single. Then the light finally came on. Nope..nikole its not you. Its them. Im starting to see it as your loss guy's. I know its hard to sit down and get to know a girl without thinking if she looks good naked or if you will make out with her by the end of the night. haha you can tell i have been though dating hell. But i will leave my stories for another time.haha. I believe there is an amazing man out in the world for every single girl. The only thing is waiting. I know its a tough thing to do. Only because we want to plan and start out life with that person.But im gonna finally(yes ,denise) sit back and wait. Im not saying don't go on dates or talk to guys. What im saying is stop looking.Because all im gonna end up doing is feeling sad and not happy with the out come of it. well, i leave you all to think over what i have vented out.-Nikole