socks

haha. yes socks. Just think it's funny how that one work can look like another word from far away. Thought I was going to get pissed drunk for St. paddy's day. I didn't. I spent the day with young flesh. Nothing wrong with that. I always thought how I would change my life if i had older friends than me. Telling me things in life that i must do because they never did. Now that I older now, I'm now thinking how I could change my own life. I never take risks. I seem to sit and watch them walk right by me. Then Im kicking myself. I had an eye opener in class on tuesday. we were talk about risks. How we fear them and never face them.
So, i was thinking about taking some risks. One would be to stop messing up my dating life and go with the flow. I seem to like to mess up a good thing with out thinking about it. Im now going to just let life run and stop trying to question my stupid thoughts about messing it up. Another one one of my risks is hights. I hate roller coasters. I cry like a little bitch. haha. Thats next on the list. wish me luck!

march 2010

I find it sad to think that my birthday is less than 3 weeks away. Sadly last years birthday didn't go very well. No one likes to be left on their birthday. Thankfully this year I'm single and don't have to worry about it. ha. I try to find the humor of being single,. Kind of like laughing at someone who is hurt. You know it hurts but, you cant stop laughing like a jack ass. We all deal with being single in different ways. I have a friend who has to keep dating, I believe she goes thought men like socks. Thank god she got a wake up call and stuck with one.
I have a guy friend who is in the same situation as my self. You cant help to start thing if he is the one you have been waiting for. Then you snap back. Just like that. it still crosses my mind every time I see him or talk to him. I very much want to question out friendship. But, I let fear get in the way. We all learn to face our fears or hold on to them. Me, well I choose to hold on. Only because of the out come. We seem to play it safe with asking out a friend. I would like to be like ah what the hell, I'm gonna ask. But why ask when you know that person has plans for their life. Wanting to move back east, look for a different job, go back to school etc... We feel as if we tell them they may stop and re- think their plan. Who in the hell does this? who? Plans are meant to change. That's why life is fun and throw crazy things toward your way. Life keeps you on your toes for a reason. For you to enjoy it.